Photo of Krystal Alesia

Krittle's Blog

  • FUCK family....

    Current mood:pissed off

    ok so pretty much any kind of holiday is a big deal for my family...which is great... i enjoy most of my family....but seriously how fuckin lame and ridiculous is it when a certain person in that family is first of all dead set on making you out to be the worst person ever and second just cannot get over themselves.... you know for somebody to fucking take me away from my biological mother with the intent to raise me better than she could....provide better living, better care, somehow better love sure fucked up.... but i guess in a way thats good cuz then i would never have the relationship i do with my biological mother now...but seriously for my fucking grandmother to tell everybody that she wants them to do something for easter but im not allowed to be there? wtf? i mean its really bad when we have to have 2 separate birthday parties for a 6 year old because she's just dumb and keep her fucking mouth shut....idk its just crap family is supposed to stand next to you no matter what....right....i have people i absolutely hate that treat me better...but you know what? after everything that happened last time i saw her i guess its a good thing....With my luck we'd both end up in jail sitting in the same fucking cell....i would snap my neck between the bars... but idk i just dont get how you can try to tell someone else who is holding the easter thing that they cant invite me...especially when its my aunt... but it just bothers me that im not good enough to be a part of the family but yet somehow such a priority to know exactly whats going on in my life, to punch me in the face, tell me im such a whore, that i never deserve to have a kid...wow...thats just so childish....just fuck em all....  
    6:40 AM
    • Post a comment...
      • Jonas Meyer

        yeah my moms family is all fucked up too, we got bi-polar schizophrenia manic depressive alcoholics drug abuse rape suicide murder... my grandma cut my mom off from the family as far as talking to her and inviting her over for anything ever. thats one o the main reason i feel its my time to move home so i can bring some positivity into my family and make a difference. but even if things never work out in a healthy normal functional way we can still make our own families and life remains the same through the joy and pain sun shine and rain.

        3 years ago
      • carol crabtree

        Krissy,,Easter sunday was called off because your grandmas big mouth,you can still stop by if you want!Didnt know if anyone told you I called it off,cuz im a fucking liar in her books,but who cares about her books!!Im still having it,SHE IS JUST NOT INVITED!!!We want to have a good time if you know what I mean!!Carol

        4 years ago
      • carol crabtree

        Hey Krissy,Its me Carol,This is the first I heard that you were not invited to MY HOUSE for Easter!!!This is me personaily inviting you to my house for Easter!!!Nobody tells me Who I can have at my house!!WHY CANT WE ALL JUST GET ALONG!!!!!!!!LOL>

        4 years ago
      • Rockin Randy

        Wow ,I cant belive that they would treat you like that!All I have to say is you know you are much better than that and dont stoop to her level.I think I know who you are referring to.I know it hurts deep down inside and you really want to be with everybody right now.And yes I belive that made you a stronger person in your relationship with mom.I can relate to how you are feeling right now .I am going through the same things with certin family members also as you already know.
        Yes it hurts,and it is fuckin shitty but keep your chin up sweetie you dont deserve none of this.Im not bashing and dont you to be mad at me but consider the source!!She dosent appear to be a happy person and frankly never was but you my child are way to good for all this.When you give her the negitivity she is after by your thoghts and actions she will think she won.Keep quiet hide and watch and you will see how Karma works.Dad is always here for you....I am trying to work on getting you down to Chicago for the Holiday anyway.Take care of yourself Krystal and them spoil your wonderfull world that you are about to approach as a grown up...Love you Baby.If you need to talk Call me ok?

        4 years ago
      • Lil Miss Smells Like He…

        Krissy don't worry about her you are better then she is and thats why she is mad...just keep your head up...and people wonder why i say fuck family,least you understand...girl i love ya an i'm always here for ya

        4 years ago
      • Lil Miss Smells Like He…

        Krissy don't worry about her you are better then she is and thats why she is mad...just keep your head up...and people wonder why i say fuck family,least you understand...girl i love ya an i'm always here for ya

        4 years ago

  • changes

    Current mood:determined

    ok so...everything that has happened so far has been such a learning experience....Not saying that it wasnt hard because sometimes it was too hard....And it just feels like everytime i try to get myself back on track something just pushes me back down....and yes i can be very determined but right now it seems like i cant accomplish anything....like i feel like i have seriously found a way to fuck up my life beyond repair and cant do anything to fix it....im not ready for half the changes im going to have to full on face when i get back home...im scared....i feel like everything is happening to me to almost in a way test me and see how commited i am to do those things....im ready to at least try its just kinda scary jumping into a pit all by myself....
    8:43 PM
    • Post a comment...
      • Eva Clark

        I know your probably not in the mood for this but listen, your not alone okay. I know the whole God theory is confusing for you... i don't know if thats because nobody has ever really sat down with you or maybe its the stigma of it all or perhaps theres a different reason but krystal... just start talkin to Him. In your mind or even outloud if you want to. I know you and i never really got to know one another thaaat well, but i think you know me enough to trust the fact that i would never steer ya wrong. I hope you also saw that i wasnt some nieve girl or stupid person (goofy at times, but just for laughs) or a weakling that uses Jesus as a crutch or an excuse or to look holy or whatever... I KNOW THE POWER HE SUPPLIES and the more i tap into it the more i succeed. I was a really screwed up little kid with a really BIG screwed up sad scarey lonely life who grew up to be a really screwed up individual living a life of hell until i finally made the decision to just GIVE IT UP and ask for some help. Gods help. And yeah i screw up all time.. buts its less and less every day and i ask for forgiveness and its cool cuz i know HE knows my heart and sees that i am really trying... im not that evil bitch anymore always actin hard and gettin my way all the time and i never wanna be that again cuz although i thought i was ALL THAT and thought my life was awesome... it totally wasnt. Anywayz, im sorry im goin on and on but i dunno, somtimes i just feel this urge to tell people about what i went through and where i was, and how far iv come because God helped me change when i didnt even know i HAD that many problems! I know your goin through some hard noks so just do something for yourself NOW girl,your SOOO young and you have so much life ahead of you that yeah, is gonna be hard and really scarey and filled with alot of pits your going to HAVE to jump into, thats simply called LIVING, but you will never have to do it alone, or rely on only your own wisdom and strength and intuition, you will always have the creator of the pit who knows its depths to guide you so you dont get too badly hurt... so give it a try tonight, when your all alone and things are still... just say his name, He knows who you are ;)

        4 years ago
        • Rockin Randy

          Okay Krystal,Eva is right trust God donr run away from him. He is the almighty.Dad and Cheryl are always here for you.
          You are a strong,smart girl,And I know you will do whats right!!!

          4 years ago

  • love hurts

    Current mood:crushed

    so for everyone who has a relationship cherish what you have.  i recently lost the best thing that has ever happened to me and its never stopped hurting... i miss him so much and the fact that i fucked up just kills me...i wish i never did any of the things i did. i lost his trust and i lost his friendship. i lost my best friend through all of that and i can only blame myself. i hope that one day i will have a chance to prove to him how much i love him and miss him... he always made me so happy and i always put him down...im not trying to make excuses but i guess i learn from my family....i lost the respect and love of the man that meant the most to me in my entire life all because i wanted to be selfish and ignorant...i miss his touch, his smile, his voice, i miss everything about him. it hurts so bad to be without him and wish that i could take it all back and try again...everything that we used to do together, watch tv, go to movies, hang out with friends, or simply cuddle hurts me to even think about it. im so sorry for what i did and i dont even know how to prove it anymore. i am so disappointed in myself that i cant even look in the mirror. so my lessons are learned here...dont ever take for granted your better half, anyone, or anything that you have in your life... and cherish every moment you have to be happy with that person. i miss mine so much i cant breathe sometimes...
    2:54 AM

  • if i could

    If  I  Could

    If  I could tell you one thing about me.
    I would tell you how much you mean to me

    If  I could show you how it felt for you to love me
    I would show u heaven

    If  I could make you feel one thing
    I would make u feel how much I care for you

    If I could love you now
    I would never let go

    If I could see you smile one last time
    I would be happy always

    If I could show you the one thing I want the most
    I would show you us, together forever

    If I could tell you one thing
    I would tell you I love you

    2:22 PM

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